Islamic Organisation Providing Americans With Free 2 Week Vacations to Europe

Haji Won Kenobi of The Crescent Coalition came across an old video of Sacha Baron Cohen pranking racist White Americans on building a mosque in their community, while it was hilarious, it got him thinking, that Americans really do take their Arabs for granted and need a better understanding of their Middle Eastern neighbours.

The prank video reminded him of all the fervour when there was a proposition to build an Islamic centre next to the location of the World Trade Centre and in other locations around the country, and as a result periodically protests would happen against building a mosque. And the irony here is, Americans really don’t know how good they have it when it comes to their Middle Easterners says Haji.

Not coincidentally Haji says, that Middle Easterners in the United States are absolutely on their best behaviour, and it didn’t happen by accident. Between September 2001 and Barack Obama’s inauguration on January 20, 2009, during those eight years George W. Bush and Fox News did their job well by putting the fear of God into every Middle Eastern American. When they heard GW’s speech of you are either with us or with the terrorists, all Middle Eastern Americans had the same reaction, “Holy crap, this crazy cowboy from Texas isn’t messing around, do you have an American Flag? Put that shit up! Do you have a We Support the Troops bumper sticker? Put that shit on the bumper of your car. We support the troops too!”

And just in case Middle Easterners did misbehave, G.W. made sure to let them know that he has built a very nice little resort for them, where they’ll be put on Time-Out, if they do anything naughty, called Guantanamo Bay Detention Camp. It’s in Cuba, on the Caribbean coastline, with great sunny weather all year round, they’ll absolutely love it!

So when Haji hears from Americans that the worst complaint they have about their Middle Easterners is, “Do you know what these Aiirabs are trying to do? They want to build a mosque in my community!” His reaction is, "That’s the best complaint you have? You’re living on easy street you spoiled prick!" If Americans think their Middle Easterners are bad, they need to take a look at their counterparts in Europe. Imagine how low income black people behave themselves in the ghettos of America, that’s basically how Middle Easterners behave themselves in Europe.

You have Middle Eastern cafes on every corner playing that Alalalalalalalalalalalala music till 1 am in the morning every night, young Middle Eastern men hollering at white women passing by, they’re loitering smoking Hookah with its smoke all around, causing riots when one of them gets justly or unjustly arrested for something and Middle Eastern restaurants with that thick Mediterranean cuisine stench going down for 15 blocks. And Americans don’t have to deal with any of this. So when their best complaint is, “They want to build a mosque in my community!” You’re living on easy street, you got lucky; it could be way worse! Says Haji.

It is for this reason Haji is putting forward a proposal to improve race relations, by organising an all expenses paid 2 week vacation to every American to go down to Europe. Perhaps they’ll come back home with a greater appreciation for their well behaved Middle Eastern neighbours.

All nationalities in America have to at some point sit in the racial hot seat, the Irish went through it, so did the Polacks, and then the Italians, now it’s the Arabs’ turn. But it too will pass. There will come a day when Americans of Middle Eastern decent will no longer have to feel to constantly apologise for their ethnic heritage in order to make white folks feel comfortable. And when that day comes, all Americans will have a sense of nostalgia for the good old days.