Financial Advisor Upset with Hotness of Women on Epstein Island

Following Jeffrey Epstein’s arrest (for the second time) in July 2019 on sex trafficking charges, gossip and speculation in the public domain was at an all time high. Who of the high profile individuals connected to him, participated with him in his crimes? Who visited his private island? Was Jeffrey Epstein connected to secret intelligence of various countries? How did he gain his fortune? Why were authorities so lenient on him for previous arrests and convictions?

According to renown financial advisor Charlie Moneybags, his concern is not even remotely related to those questions. What he has realised from the Jeffrey Epstein case, is that, billionaires need to step up their game to the quality of puntang which they procure.

Let’s start with the Don Juan himself, Jeffrey Epstein. The man at the time of his death was estimated to have a net-worth of $577.6 million. And Ghislaine Maxwell is the best he could do?

Secondly, according to court documents, she was the head of the HR department or the puntang procurement department. How she managed to hang on to that job for as long as she did, amazes Charlie Moneybags. She should’ve been fired immediately. Looking at the women who allegedly were on the Epstein island, he didn’t see dime pieces anywhere. Just a bunch of sixes and sevens out of 10.

Who the hell spends time to acquire enough money to purchase an island, with the only way to get there either on a yacht or a private jet, and only to show up with mediocre looking women? For Pete's sake, the Play Boy mansion has a better collection of women running around, and Hugh Hefner spent a fraction of the price on his Los Angeles mansion compared to what that island cost.  And you can get to the Play Boy mansion by simply calling an Uber.

Thirdly, what parents allow their teenage underage daughters to go to a remote island in the first place? Where, even if you wanted to pick them up, good luck finding a private yacht or jet to get there.

Fourthly, let’s establish the correct pronunciation of the name of the HR lady in charge of the puntang procurement department, Ghislaine Maxwell. Is it pronounced Gilane? Or is it Gizlane? Or is it something else?

Listen, considering the fact that her crimes involved a lot of old men jizzing on a lot of young women, the pronunciation of Jizzlaine Maxwell is more than appropriate. 

Point five, it was recently reported that one of the pieces of kompromat that Jeffrey Epstein had on Bill Gates and allegedly used to blackmail him with, was his knowledge of Bill Gates’ extramarital affair with Russian bridge player, Mila Antonova.

With all of the wealth, resources, access and connections that this nerd/geek has, this is the best looking Russian that he could find? If you dropped me in Russia and tasked me with the following job, “Find me a Russian chick that is hotter than the one that Bill Gates has,” that search would take me like 7 seconds.

The FTX/Alameda Research guy, Sam Bankman-Fried, is another one. If I had to describe what his girlfriend looked like to someone who has never seen a photograph of her, it would be something like this:

To be a freaking billionaire and that’s the best you could do? What is wrong with people today? These billionaires are killing any motivation to want to become rich and famous in the first place.

Billionaires need to step up their game to the kind of puntang that they procure! How is America expected to project soft power abroad and be respected if all of the country’s top elites are screwing a bunch of little Petunia Piggies?

If these billionaires should be prosecuted for anything, it should be for ruining and desecrating the prestige and reputation of western billionaires.