Congressman Explains Delay in Reparations For African Americans

The issue of African American reparations for slavery has been a hot topic for a very long time, so we caught up with Congressman Grafton Pockets to understand why the payout is taking so long to implement.  According to Grafton, there are multiple reasons for the hold up.  Reason number one, is that if reparations are implemented, this would be the very first time in history that a group of people who were not the victims of a crime, nor do know anyone who was the victim of the crime in mention, and not a single person who was a victim of slavery is still alive today, would be compensated.  Reparations make no logical sense, but that's just the tip of the iceberg, says Grafton Pockets.  

Let's say reparations was actually taken seriously.  The are two big issues that would need to be addressed first.  Issue number one is the form of reparations.  Now historically, it was agreed to be 40 acres and a mule.  Let's be honest says Grafton, a lot of black people do not know let alone care about what a mule is.  So the new reparations deal should be, 40 acres and a Cadillac Escalade, and them rims better be spinning.  The second issue to address would be, who qualifies?  Or what are the qualifications or criteria, in order to receive reparations?

A lot of things have changed in the last 200 years since slavery was abolished.  We are living in a multicultural world with a lot of mixed race people.  There are a lot of black and white couples with mixed children, i.e. Mariah Carey, Kimora Lee Simmons, Rashida Jones etc...  Does that mean these children would only receive 50% of the reparations? i.e. 20 acres and a scooter?

What about mixed children who are half black and half jewish?  There are a lot of those in American show business i.e. Lenny Kravitz, Aubrey Drake Graham, Richard Pryor's children, etc...

Are they entitled to 80 acres and two Cadillac Escalades with spinning rims?  The first 40 acres and automobile for the parent's lineage that was a slave in the American South and the second 40 acres and automobile for the parent's lineage that was a slave in ancient Egypt?

What about Bernie Mac dark skinned black Americans vs. Will Smith light skinned black Americans?  Anyone who has at least one black friend already knows that they have heard at some point that lighter skinned African Americans have it slightly easier in life in comparison with darker skinned African Americans.  Should both be entitled to the same exact reparations?  That doesn't seem fair.

What about the children of African immigrants who came to America after the 1960s? They nor their parents had anything to do with slavery, the Jim Crow South or the Civil Rights movement, however, were raised in the same black experience that African Americans went through i.e. racism, discrimination, police brutality, racial profiling, etc...  Shouldn't they be entitled to something?  Maybe not the 40 acres and a Cadillac, but a time-share in Florida maybe?   

What about the descendants of field slaves vs the descendants house slaves?  Should they both be equally entitled to reparations? I don't think that the descendants of field slaves would be too happy to hear that descendants of those whose responsibility was to torture and punish the field slaves to satisfy their master are getting any compensation at all, says Grafton Pockets. 

So as you can see, the situation gets very tricky when you start thinking about actually implementing the reparations program in real life.  Plus, wasn't there a comedy skit by David Chappelle many years ago on what's going to happen if you give black people a whole bunch of money?