Wuhan Lab Which Leaked COVID-19 Virus Defends Virus' Release

The Coronavirus/COVID-19 epidemic and its handling by government officials has divided people into two camps. The camp of get the vaccine vs. the anti-vaxxers. Those who advocate for wearing face masks vs. those who are against it. Those who supported quarantines vs. those advocating for free movement. But there is one point that unites both camps; both agree that the Coronavirus/COVID-19 is a bad thing. And Dr. Phil M. Up of the Wuhan Laboratory which leaked the virus, completely disagrees that this disease is 100% bad.

The Coronavirus between 2020 and 2022 went through multiple evolutions and variations. The original Covid that spread, its symptoms were difficulty in breathing. Dr. Phil M. Up clearly remembers that variant, each breath that he took lasted 60 seconds from the moment of inhale to exhale, and for weeks he felt like there was a 2 ton rock resting on his chest. He did not like the original covid strain at all.

Then a year later, we got the Covid Omicron variant. This variant’s symptoms was the loss of a person’s sense of smell. Dr. Phil liked that variant a lot! First of all, of the five senses that humans have, the sense of smell is overrated. If someone wanted to buy my sense of smell says Dr. Phil, his response would be, “Give me $20 bucks and a gram of coke and you can have this shit!”

During those few weeks that he did not have a sense of smell, "Can you imagine the enjoyment I had dropping my morning deuce,?" says Dr. Phil. For those who do not know what a morning deuce is, can you remember a time when you went to the bathroom in the morning and after you were done you felt like you lost a couple of pounds/kilograms and for some reason you were cold and shivering? That’s the morning deuce!

Before the Omicron variant, Dr. Phil couldn’t run out of the bathroom fast enough to escape the stench of the morning deuce. After Omicron, the morning deuce was the most enjoyable moment of the day. He would sit on the toilet seat for hours completely not phased, pulled out his mobile phone and scrolled through endless TikTok videos, answered a few emails and before he knew it, an hour would pass by sitting in the bathroom. The Omicron variant was amazing! Dr. Phil can’t wait for that disease variant to make a comeback.

Not everything is for everyone he says. Some people prefer their marijuana to be sativa, others prefer it to be indica. Some like beer others like whiskey. For how long have we been arguing on which is better, Coca-Cola or Pepsi? Some people like their cocaine to be Colombian, me personally I prefer it to be Bolivian.  

When I take a whiff of that Colombian stuff, my immediate reaction is, “No way! This cocaine is too strong! There’s too much violence involved in the making of this cocaine!”

Whereas when I take a whiff of that Bolivian stuff, I start having visions of an indigenous Mesoamerican woman with a baby strapped to her back picking Coca leafs to make this wonderful fluff fluff for my enjoyment. I prefer my cocaine to be peacefully manufactured says Dr. Phil.

So if you caught the Covid-19 and didn’t like it, that variant simply wasn’t for you! But don’t ruin the experience for those who did enjoy that variant says Dr. Phil.