Rapper Ludacris Demands Apology For Being Ahead Of His Time

Many years ago Fox News host Bill O'Reilly openly bragged about how he and his viewers were able to put enough pressure on the Pepsi company to pull a promotional advertisement featuring the rapper Ludacris.

The event was interesting for two reasons, it showed that the now normalised “Cancel Culture” wasn’t always a thing, and this was probably the very first instance of cancel culture taking place. And secondly, Bill's accusation itself was interesting. Bill O'Reilly’s justification on cancelling Ludacris was that, “It was irresponsible of Pepsi Cola to hire a man who is subverting the values of the United States.”

Bill O'Reilly is absolutely correct! Values need to be protected and promoted. And corporations should be more responsible and take these things into consideration. Therefore, one would assume that since this incident happened back in 2002, corporations have learned their lesson and American values have been upheld with no subversion activities. So let’s take a look at how American values have been upheld since then.

1) Bud Light sends an influencer named Dylan Mulvaney a handful of beers. Mulvaney, in turn, posts a video of herself/himself/itself dressed like Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany’s, using said beers to celebrate both March Madness and her first year of womanhood.

2) The well known retailer Target features in its stores “Tuck-friendly” women’s swimsuits – swimwear that allows some transgender women to conceal their genitals. In addition to that, it also featured satanic merchandise for children such as a lavender, goat-headed medallion that reads “Satan respects pronouns” and a pin depicting a guillotine with the label “Homophobe Headrest.”

3) Columbia Records signed rapper Lil Nas X releases his official video for a new single “Montero (Call Me By Your Name)” where he gives Satan a seductive lap dance while wearing boxers and thigh-high boots.

4) For some reason, drag queens have gone off of the track and into the classroom reading to children and teaching them how to twerk. One would think that the whole point of school was to prepare you for the corporate world and not the strip club.

5) The LGBTQ+ club has really stepped up their game by not only demanding social acceptance from adults, now they also want to be accepted with the children as well, and they are coming for them?

6) Parents have lost their minds to such a degree regarding the Ts (dudes with tits) teaching their children, that a mother resorted to dressing up as Cat Woman simply to state a point.

7) The Grammy performances have become raunchier than ever. Sam Smith’s performance was breathtaking. FYI, the chick in the cage is a dude.

8) The North Face was the place to go to when you need to buy camping or hiking clothes. Nowadays it's hard to tell what they are selling anymore.

9) Netflix produces a film called “Cuties.” The film is about a Senegalese-French girl with a traditional Muslim upbringing who is caught between traditional Muslim values and Internet culture when she joins a twerking dance crew. Because who needs to learn about values and rules when you can shake it?

10) The US Army went from doing push ups and “Drop down and give me 20 maggot!” To watching your two moms getting married. Because, bombs need to be inclusive you know.

Especially when you compare it with its Russian homophobic equivalent, you can’t tell whether to laugh or shake your head.

11) According to the rapper Cardi B, having a “Wet Ass Pussy” is the new qualification and requirement in order to interview the president.

12) Chicks with sticks are all over women’s sports beating them in sports competitions or sometimes literally beating the shit out of them.

13) The TLC network which stands for “The Learning Channel” debuts its “I Am Jazz” reality television series where we watch a young child destroy its future for our entertainment. As one watches the show, the only question on one's mind is, where is child support services? Hitting your kids → Bad. Genital mutilation of your kids for entertainment → Good.

So to revisit Bill O'Reilly’s logic, that corporations should only be promoting values which do not subvert the values of the nation, that means today’s values are:

• Queer turned trans-woman turned lesbian selling us beer.

• Trans-clothing flaunted in department stores.

• Occult and Satanic music.

• Transvestites in Kindergartens teaching kids how to twerk.

• Dudes with tits teaching kids in elementary schools.

• Drag Queens selling camping gear.

• Drone striking a family in Yemen while watching your lesbian moms’ wedding.

• Manhandling women in sports.

• Kids on TV sexualising themselves or mutilating their genitals for entertainment.

  
  

Taking all of this in and looking back to 2002, Ludacris says he is owed an apology for being ahead of his time when it comes to degeneracy. He says in comparison to today, having hoes in different area codes was actually pretty tame.